


Consequences

by beyondthesunset



Series: With Friends Like These [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Gen, M/M, Making Up, POV Sirius Black, Pining, Pre-Relationship, The Prank
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 19:49:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16047371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beyondthesunset/pseuds/beyondthesunset
Summary: A short one shot about the moment that Remus first talked to Sirius after The Prank. Was written to go with my Lily POV work "With Friends Like These" but can be read separately.





	Consequences

**Author's Note:**

> For anyone coming from "With Friends Like These" this is set somewhere during the 7th chapter.

Sirius Black sat on the edge of his bed in Gryffindor tower with an air of affected calm. He could feel the muscle on the underside of his wrist clenching spasmodically and he was grinding his teeth a little. He tried to curl his toes inside his uniform shoes to release some tension. It wasn’t nearly enough. Despite all of this, Sirius was aware that he looked the picture of calm non-emotion. He was generally careful to appear so when nervous; it was a skill acquired over long practice at home. Don’t show them your weakness.

The problem was that Sirius had been told to wait. He hated waiting.

As it now did any time he had a free moment, Sirius’ mind shot back over the last few weeks and he felt shame and grief pool and curl in his stomach. Sirius had endangered the life of a fellow student, Severus Snape, by telling him where to find Sirius’ friend Remus Lupin while Remus was in his wolf form at the time of the full moon. Sirius had been angry at himself ever since, and he wasn’t the only one. His three closest friends; James, Remus and Peter, who he shared a dorm with and spent basically every minute of every day with, hadn’t spoken to him in the weeks since the incident.

Sirius hadn’t been totally alone. He had spent a lot of time following around after the girls in his year. He and Marlene were quite close and Mary was sweet. The real surprise was how well he had gotten on with Lily Evans, who had had a bit of a problem with him since an incident last year. Sirius tried to pull himself out of the dour contemplation on how often he seemed to piss off his friends with his behavior lately and back to the present. Waiting.

Peter had come to talk to Sirius a few days before. Peter was easy, the boy hated conflict and immediately acted like nothing had happened. Sirius missed his other friends terribly but he hoped that this was a sign of a coming thaw.

Today at breakfast, Peter had somewhat cryptically told Sirius to wait in the dorm after the last class of the day. Normally he would have written this off as a particularly ham-fisted attempt to position him to be pranked, but under the circumstances he rather hoped it was a sign of coming reconciliation.

Sirius was jarred from his wandering retrospection by the door to the dorm opening suddenly. Sirius jumped and glanced up to see Remus. Immediately, Sirius thoughts slowed to a crawl and his stomach swooped uncomfortably. This was a common problem that Sirius often experienced around Remus in the last year or so.

Sirius tried to pull himself together again. Remus had sat on the bed opposite and was peering at him thoughtfully. “No James?” Sirius heard himself say.

“No, sorry, just me.”

Sirius immediately kicked himself inwardly. “No it’s fine! I was just… wondering I guess.” He found himself rubbing the back of his head and stopped himself quickly. He always felt that that made him look too much like James.

“I think he’ll hold a grudge the longest,” Remus supplied. “You know James.” His mouth quirked upward at the corners in a motion that was a few degrees short of a smile. Sirius fought the temptation to stare at his lips.

Sirius forced himself to nod. “So are we okay?” He tried to force a winning smile onto his face. It felt a little unnatural.

“No,” Remus looked suddenly annoyed. Sirius chastised himself immediately. Disappointed Remus made Sirius uniquely uncomfortable.

“Of course, right. I haven’t even apologized yet,” Sirius shook his head ruefully in a practiced manner. “Listen, Remus, I’m really sorry. You trusted me and I was reckless and cavalier with your secret. I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, but if you can see your way clear to forgiving me, I swear to you nothing like this will ever happen again.” Sirius thought it sounded okay. He had practiced it in front of the mirror enough times that it should be.

“You practiced that, didn’t you?” Remus asked without any particular heat. Sirius felt the smile that had been the last step in his routine, calibrated to be wonderfully sincere, slide off his face like curdled potion. This was unexpected, though maybe it shouldn’t have been.

“Well, okay, yes,” Sirius admitted, “but can you blame me for wanting to get it right?”

Sirius was watching Remus’ face intently now. The corners of Remus’ eyes had crinkled slightly at Sirius’ words and he looked sympathetic. “I suppose not, but I’m just worried.”

“It won’t happen again,” Sirius supplied quickly.

“I would have preferred if it didn’t happen the first time,” Remus replied, sounding exhausted. Sirius looked down at his shoes. “Listen Sirius, I just worry you don’t think about consequences.”

“I know consequences,” Sirius shot back bitterly. His mind whirled off to his family, where his every action was weighed and found wanting, where consequences were swift and harsh and often delivered at the casting end of a wand.

Remus nodded at that. “I’m not trying to undervalue that, Sirius. I know you’ve been through hell, but with your parents there are limits,” Sirius glanced up sharply an angry response flying to the front of his mind, but Remus rushed on. “Even if it’s just enough to maintain the Black family image! With me, with a werewolf, there are no limits. None, Sirius. Do you understand that?”

Remus’ voice had slowly risen as he spoke. Sirius was stricken, he felt his throat tighten, found himself unable to speak. Remus spoke again, softer now. “They would have killed me, Sirius.”

“I wouldn’t have let them!” Sirius snapped out before he had a moment to think, before Remus could say any more. “I would have stopped them.”

“There’s no way you could have,” Remus replied, heatedly. “I need you to understand that! You could have tried and failed, and in the end I would still be dead. I can’t have people around me who are naïve about this. I can’t afford to!” Remus softened his voice again and looked pleadingly at Sirius. “I need you but I need you to do better. I can’t … afford this.” He gestured hopelessly.

Sirius’ throat had closed up and there was a prickling in the corner of his eyes. He felt himself nodding. He tried to hold Remus’ gaze but his eyes were sharp as diamonds. After a moment, Sirius glanced away. There was a long and pregnant pause.

“I heard Snape was talking about your brother,” Remus said quietly. Sirius glanced up to see that Remus was no longer looking at him.

“Who told you that?”

“Lily.”

“Oh. Right.” Sirius had been fairly drunk when he had confided in her. She was the only person still speaking to him after the incident who knew Remus was a werewolf, and he supposed he had to put it somewhere. “Yeah, he was.”

“What did he say?” Remus asked glancing up at Sirius, sidelong without looking fully looking at him.

“He said they’d been getting close, that he was… getting along quite well with Snape’s friends,” Remus nodded sympathetically. Sirius had always suspected that Regulus was being groomed to be a Death Eater, but having it presented so bold-facedly had frightened him. “And he said he was taking a special interest in Reg’s ‘education,’” Sirius added. “Wanted me to know he would put him on the ‘right path.’”

“That’s awful, Sirius,” Remus muttered.

“And I wanted to see him get his comeuppance,” Sirius added, angrily.

“And you didn’t think,” This pulled Sirius up short.

“No I didn’t,” he muttered. “Listen, Remus…”

Remus waved a hand, cutting Sirius off. “Just swear to me this will never happen again.”

“Marauder oath?” Sirius suggested, almost smiling.

“No,” Remus replied, “swear on my life. That’s what’s at stake here.”

Sirius’ eyes widened and his thoughts moved over everything Remus meant to him. “I swear.”

Remus smiled at him then, the first time in weeks. There was another pause. “I love when you let your guard down,” Remus muttered suddenly, leaning forward conspiratorially.

Sirius realized that he hadn’t thought about how he must look in several minutes. Quickly, automatically, he reassumed a carefully cultivated neutral expression. “And there it goes,” Remus said, leaning back. Sirius felt a blush rise on his cheeks and searched around for something to say.

“So James is still mad?”

Remus nodded. “Oh, yeah. Height of betrayal, all that.”

“Think he’ll come around?”

Remus nodded again. “Just give him time.”

“You sound like Lily.”

“There are worst things,” Remus rebutted. “I’m sorry it’s just me today.”

Sirius glanced up at this to see something that looked a lot like genuine hurt on Remus’ face. “I’m not,” he replied quickly. James was his best friend but Remus was something else entirely. Sirius stood deliberately and sat next to Remus on his bed. “I’m really glad we’re talking again.” He hitched up his most winning smile. Remus smiled back and Sirius was suddenly hyper-aware of their proximity. They were separated by the thinnest strip of bed in an empty room. Sirius was suddenly overwhelmed by the presence of Remus’ hand so near his own. This moment suddenly felt dangerous and Sirius wanted out. “So dinner?” he supplied quickly, nodding toward the door of the dorm. As he said it, Sirius realized that he really was very hungry.

“Boy, you sure move fast. We were just fighting a second ago,” Remus supplied with a teasing lilt in his voice. “Though I guess I did let you get in bed with me before you even took me out, so what do I know?”

Sirius was suddenly sure that if he didn’t get off this bed right now he would do something he wasn’t ready for; something that was probably a bad idea anyway. Remus didn’t mean anything by it, he reminded himself. He was only teasing after all. Joking. “Well, I’m starved,” he said, standing quickly.

“Right behind you,” Remus replied, sounding like he was trying not to laugh. Sirius led the way out of the dorm, feeling much better than he had before. James would come around, but for now this was more than good enough.


End file.
